Only a few weeks after learning they were expecting twin girls, Millie Smith and Lewis Cann received the news that only one of their twins would survive.
After a high-risk 30-week pregnancy, Smith gave birth to identical twins, Callie and Skye, on April 30. Skye lived for a just three hours.
Later, Callie slept in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) in the incubator without her sister, under the watchful eyes of her loving and distressed parents. Smith was mistakenly told by a stressed-out mother of healthy newborn twins that she was “so lucky” not to have two kids in the same unit.
The new mother couldn’t express her sadness and was in a state of shock. After that, she realized that Skye’s legacy, represented by a purple butterfly, was to help other families who had lost a child.
In November 2015, Millie Smith and Lewis Cann found out they were expecting their first child. Doctors confirmed she was carrying identical twin daughters ten weeks after Smith claimed to have a “gut feeling” about having a pair. Smith’s family includes twins.
Less than two weeks after being ecstatic to learn that they would have twice as many children in their home, the British couple was devastated to learn that one of their babies had a severe illness and would not survive after birth.
Throughout the scan, the doctor remained silent. I loved the little infants and was excited, but she stayed silent. It was immediately apparent to Lewis and me that something was wrong,” Smith said.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), anencephaly, which affects about one in 4,600 infants in the US, was diagnosed in one of the infants. Anencephaly is a debilitating birth defect in which a baby is born without sections of their brain and skull. According to the statement, “nearly all babies born with anencephaly will die shortly after birth.”
Despite knowing that one of their babies might pass away soon after birth and that there were worries about their second child, the couple decided to go ahead with the extremely risky pregnancy.
Over the next six months, Smith and Cann started naming their twins Skye and Callie. “We knew Skye needed a name before she was born,” Smith said. “I knew she would only live for seconds or minutes, so I wanted her to be named at that time.”
She said that “Skye” was meant to serve as a reminder of our child by having us gaze up into the sky, where we knew she would always be.
Smith went into labor at just 30 weeks and required an emergency C-section on April 30. The couple had a “bereavement midwife” after the birth to help them cope with the loss, and they were taken to a special room called the “Daisy Room,” where families can spend time with a baby both before and after they pass away.
When the girls were born, they both cried. “This was a huge moment, as we were told that Skye would not make a noise or move,” said Smith, who was thankful to have spent three hours with Skye before she died. We were holding Skye when she passed away. This was the hardest period of our lives. The most devastating heartbreak I had ever gone through was that one. But I’m proud of her for fighting so hard to be here with us.
Due to her early birth, Callie needed to remain in the NICU until she healed. The unit also had three further sets of twins.
Even though most of the nurses were aware of what had occurred, Skye’s name gradually disappeared from the conversation. After four weeks or so, Smith said, the people around me didn’t know we were in trouble since they all pretended nothing had happened.
One morning, a stressed-out mother whose twins were also in the NICU casually informed Smith that she was “so lucky” not to have twins.
Skye and what had happened were unknown to the other parents. The comment was more lighthearted and completely innocent.I had two at the same time, but they were not supposed to know.Smith said, “But the comment nearly broke me.” I ran out of the room, and they didn’t know why I was crying. I was unable to bring myself to inform them of what had happened. A simple sticker may have avoided the entire situation.
Smith understood she needed to think of something that would speak for parents who had just lost a child in order to make sure the error never happened again.
A purple butterfly on an incubator signifies that one or more of the multiples in the set have passed away, according to a NICU poster she made to alert hospital employees and visitors.
Smith added, “I felt it was fitting to remember the babies that flew away, so I chose butterflies because purple is appropriate for both boys and girls.”
Currently operated by the Skye High Foundation, the purple butterfly concept has been adopted by hospitals in many countries across the world.
Happy sixth birthdays, Callie and Skye. You have been with us for six whole years.
Posted by The Skye High Foundation on Friday, April 29, 2022
Purple butterfly cards and other initiatives to help families with kids like Skye around the world are ways that the twins’ memory endures. At the age of seven, Callie is lively and happy. Purple butterflies are now used in many different things, such as ornaments, cards, blankets, and plush animals.
“I can’t stop this from happening in the end, but it would be better if we could use tools like the stickers and create more support groups. “It’s the hardest thing anyone has to deal with,” Smith said.
Losing a child of any age may be tough for parents, but it’s a good thing that there are people like Millie Smith who want to help others.
Please share this tale with others to explain what a purple butterfly next to a newborn means!
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